I finally got back to working out today. After a couple of weeks of rest, and recouping after a little fall I got back on the bike. Started breathing deeper, and remembering what my body feels like when I push it. I forget often how when I do something physical, it grounds all of the other bodies - emotional, mental and spiritual... they all feel more alive and awake when I'm in motion, fast or slow.
It's funny to me how I can forget this, like forgetting I need to eat, or sleep. That this has always been a grounding force for me.
I started taking regular dance classes when I was 3 or 4 years old, by the time I was 10 I was dancing and doing rythmic gymnastics 6 or 7 times a week, often a few extras on Saturdays and Sundays. Movement became a haven, a meditation practice before I even knew what that word was. I loved doing a hundred plies, or just stretching, warming up, getting small corrections from the teacher, learning to create shapes and training to a level where my body and I spoke fluently with each other. We had a shared language, an ongoing conversation. I didn't even care so much about performing, that was fun, but it was really just the dancing, the moving that was the most compelling for me. Being in my body felt like home when I was dancing. It still feels like that today.
And yet, every now and then I stop and forget. I get busy. I turn to other things, get caught up in the fascination of work
and good things and don't carve out the time for that friend. My body. My movement.
When that happens I start to notice over time I don't feel as ...self. I'm longing, but not sure for what. I'm aware that it's like someone I love is away, and I can't see them or speak to them, I miss them but I've forgotten that they were here. I can't quite put my finger on what's happening... and then I remember. Oh, when is the last time I moved, worked out, danced, ran, walked....just reconnected with that essential part of me.
Judaism has an idea that for each relationship an angel is created, and when that relationship goes unattended for a while, that angel fades, but when you reconnect, there's a blessing you can say that has to do with resurrection and revives that angel for another year. It feels like that when I return to my body, reviving that relationship that is so dear. It's deserves a blessing. It is a blessing.
So today I'm saying thanks to Hashem for giving me a nudge this morning to remember my friend, my body, my blessing. And even though I'm tired or busy I managed to make that relationship a priority today, and in doing so feel a bit more like me. My blessing for all of you today, because I like to pay it forward when I'm given a gift, is that we all find some moment to reconnect with our body, a walk, a stretch, a class or a moment of feeling into and we revive that angel that watches over that relationship. It's a good one. xo